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May 31, 2001

   [ posted by: R.I.P ]
Ok, so I guess that silly news item wasn't all that funny, or silly... let's pretend it didn't happen...

Sony redefines RPG!!!
   [ posted by: R.I.P ]
Sources requesting anonymity have indicated to us that in a stunning turn of events, Sony has worked a deal with the publishers of the Oxford Unabridged English Dictionary, The Encyclopedia Britannica, and Webster's Pocket Dictionary to change the definition entries for "Role-Playing Game" and "RPG" to be described as follows "a software program published by Square Co., Ltd. that is designed to run on popular home 'video-game' entertainment systems. This software is designed so as to allow a player to control the actions of an on-screen character, and guide them along a series of actions through a fixed story."
When questioned about this deal, Sony spokespersons stated, "Of course, we initiated this correction within these honored tomes as a sincere effort to help them bring their material in line with modern-day English usage. In the last ten years, both customers and companies within the entertainment and software industries have always used the words 'Final Fantasy' as a term synonymous with the words 'Role-Playing Game'. In fact, when other publishers attempt to market games within the 'Final Fantasy' genre, they are quickly identified and called out for what they are not. If they are not 'Final Fantasy' then they are not 'Role-Playing Games'."
Microsoft, the publishers of Encarta, were apparently approached as well, but declined to accept the definition in place of their current entry which mentions an archaic 'pen-and-paper' game entitled 'Advanced Dungeons and Dragons'. This game apparently uses, of all things: "dice, pencils, papers, books, and a player's imagination to simulate real-life activity in a fantasy scenario."
Again, when Sony was asked about this snub by Microsoft, their representative is quoted as saying: "Once again, this shows Microsoft's inability to be aware of what is really happening in the real world. I mean, who actually plays a game with 'dice' anymore? And what's this imagination thing they're going on about??? Who even knows what that means. We at Sony recognize that the only games people play, are games created for our Sony PlayStation game system. Of course there are some reports we have seen that indicate a small number of consumers play video-games on a system created by a company named Nintendo, but we find these reports highly suspect."
Be sure to look for more news on this as the fantasy unfolds! ;p

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